


As good a plan as any

by Anonymous



Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Brothers, Disciplinary spanking of adult, Episode tag s01e02 and s01e03, Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-25
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 10:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/773283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike is not happy with the way Anders has been treating Axl and the quest for Frigg.  He expresses it in a decidedly hands on manner.  Contains quite a bit of swearing (but hopefully no worse than the show).</p>
            </blockquote>





	As good a plan as any

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I'm about five episodes in and every time I see Anders do something all I can think is how much he needs reigning in by Big Brother. 
> 
> This is my first foray into the Almighty Johnsons fandom and I've only watched up until about the episode after the tags for this fic so the character history and continuity in terms of canon might be a bit wonky. I am aware of the whole Val/Anders thing but hopefully I didn't completely mess this up.
> 
> I tried really hard to keep them in character though (despite it being a slightly ludicrous situation) so hopefully I at least sort of managed it. I have another really short second chapter planned out that has Ty and Olaf (and possibly Axl) in it, hence the tags, and is basically just to satisfy my need for someone to give Anders a hug because I didn't think it was IC for Mike to do it, but I haven't 100% finished that chapter yet. Also, I'm not from NZ so if anyone spots any words or phrases that aren't really used over in NZ then please let me know - I did try to research.
> 
> It does sort of jump in right at the 'action' but that's mostly because I haven't quite worked out where in the episodes this would fit, vaguely, it would be towards the end of ep3 but in this chapter that doesn't really matter.
> 
> Please consider leaving a comment.

* * *

“Take off your pants,” Mike said calmly, not turning around as he locked the door behind them.

“I beg your pardon?”  Ander stared, dumbfounded as Mike gave a put upon sigh before turning to face him.

“Take. Off. Your. Pants.” 

More than a little unsettled by the direction their conversation seemed to be taking, Anders floundered, for once, Mike was satisfied to notice, speechless.  “Anders,” he said warningly, taking a step towards his younger brother, “Take them off!”

“No!” Anders exclaimed, his voice rising several levels in pitch.  Not liking the way Mike’s face had suddenly slipped into a determined leer, he retreated several steps, putting the bed between himself and his older brother.  Holding both hands out in front of him placatingly, he managed a strangled, “Why?”

Mike stopped, huffed a small laugh and smirked, “I _really_ don’t think you want to hear me say it.”

“Say what?!”  Anders gave a nervous laugh before attempting his usual nonchalance, “Look, Mike, it’s not that I haven’t…you know, _fucked_ guys before.  But you’re my brother, it’s – ”

“Oh, don’t be disgusting!”  Mike interrupted, feeling the heat rising in his cheeks.  For a moment, Anders looked pleased that his deliberately misunderstanding had gotten to his older brother, a teasing glint lighting up his eyes.  “This isn’t about…sex and you know it!”

Anders’ face was suddenly the picture of innocence.  “Then what is it about?”

Mike gave a bitter laugh before replying harshly, “You don’t remember?  You _screwed up_ , Anders!  So stop complaining about it and take it like a man!”

“Erm, no!”  Anders replied sarcastically, retreating a few more steps away from his brother.  “Anyway, I didn’t do anything!”

“Jesus, Anders!  You sound like a five year old! Why do you always have to fight me on _every little thing_?” Mike cried exasperatedly, throwing his hands up.

“Because we’re in Axl’s bedroom, you’ve just _locked me in_ and now you’re telling me strip off!” Anders replied, darting up and over the bed as Mike rounded the other end of it.

“Oh for – Stop playing games, Anders!”  He paused, grinned to himself and added, “You can’t win them anyway.”  When Anders continued to look at him with a combination of fear and false bravado, he relented slightly.  “I didn’t tell you to strip off,” he sighed, “Just your pants – you can even keep your underwear on…if you’re wearing any.”

“That isn’t comforting, Mike!”

“ _Comforting_?!  I don’t have to be comforting, Anders!  I’m your big brother, so if I tell you to do something, you do it!  You don’t ask questions, you don’t run around jumping over beds to get away from me, you _just do it_!”

“Fuck off, Mike, I’m not Axl!”  Although it was a familiar phrase, Mike was pleased to hear a rare tremor of nervousness in his younger brother’s voice despite the little laugh Anders affected as he said it.

“No, you’re not,” Mike agreed, gesturing towards the door, “Axl doesn’t cause me half the trouble you do!  _You’ve_ caused more grief since Axl’s 21 st than Ty and Axl put together!”

“Piss off, the little idiot landed himself in hospital before the night was even over!”

“Don’t you dare say that was his fault!  You brought those girls to the party!

“For the last time, Mike,” Anders said exasperatedly, “She was _not_ one of mine!”

“I don’t care if she – ” Mike broke off, squeezing the bridge of his nose before continuing much calmer than before, “Look, this isn’t about that.  That was…okay, fine, that wasn’t _entirely_ your fault.”

Anders scoffed but stopped abruptly as Mike looked up again.

“This isn’t about that,” he repeated firmly, “We need to talk about Karla.”

“Karla?” Anders repeated blankly, “Oh! _Karla_.  Why?  That was like, a week ago.”

“Because Axl nearly killed her, Anders!”

There was a flicker of regret before Anders shrugged, “She was fine – more than _fine,_ in fact.”

“Anders!  She stopped breathing!”

“Yeah, well…a bit.  That never happened with any of us though, how was I supposed to know that would happen?!”

“You weren’t!  That’s my point!  Anders, we have no idea what we’re dealing with here!  What would we have done if she’d _died_?  What about _Axl_?  He’d have had to live with that for the rest of his life!”

Anders shifted uncomfortably, suddenly finding the floor quite interesting.  “She was fine though,” he muttered eventually.

“You almost made Axl a murderer, you – ”

“I didn’t do it deliberately!” Anders cried defensively, “If I’d known it was going to happen, then I probably wouldn’t have done it, right?”

“Probably?” Mike repeated incredulously.

“He’s gotta find the Frigg somehow,” Anders reminded him.

“Jesus, Anders!  Why didn’t you just give him some frenchies and call him a hooker?”

“Are you suggesting that those lovely young girls are worth less than the delectable Karla?”

Mike said nothing, but Anders was fairly certain he could hear his brother’s teeth grinding from the other side of the room.  They glared at each other in silence for a moment before Anders eventually broke it.

“Look, I didn’t know that would happen, all right?” he offered reluctantly, “I’m…I’m sorry, okay?  So can we just forget about this now?  It’s bloody ridiculous anyway.”

“No,” Mike shook his head, his face set.

“Mike, come on!  We’ve barely spoken for years, you can’t just tell me you’re going to…I’m not just gonna let you…,” Anders broke off, his jaw working furiously before he eventually spat out, “I’m _not_ Axl.  And you are _not_ Dad.”

“I wouldn’t want to be,” Mike assured him immediately.  “Look, we don’t know what we’re doing yet with this Odin thing, right?  He’s onto this Sonja girl but we don’t know what that mean yet.  It’s great you wanna help – be better if your motives were a little less selfish though, yeah? But if you’re gonna be around, then you’re gonna have to learn how to toe the line.  Nothing’s gonna happen if we can’t work together.  We _are_ going to sort this out, but we’re not gonna do it by _pimping out_ our baby brother!”

“Mike!  You _saw_ Sonja, none of us felt anything.  Nothing’s happening anyway!  You’ve all got Axl so freaked out about it that he doesn’t know what to do even if she is the Frigg!  And you know what?  Maybe my way didn’t work out, but it was as good a plan as any!”

“Yeah, except for the part where a young woman almost died.”

“Well, they both enjoyed it up until that part,” Anders smirked.

“Anders!”

“Mike, come on…”

“Look it’s happening, Anders.  Axl doesn’t even make this much fuss.  So stop being a pussy and man the fuck up,” despite the harsh words, Mike’s voice had turned surprisingly gentle.

Anders seemed to consider for a moment, eyes downcast until eventually his shoulders slumped and he sighed.  Leaning against the door with one arm behind his back, he raised his eyes to his brother’s.  Mike, sensing victory, attempted a tight smile – if Anders was going to go along with it without violence then there was really no reason he couldn’t at least try to be encouraging.  Anders heaved another great sigh, his eyes not leaving Mike’s.

“No.”

Anders was out the door and halfway down the corridor before Mike’s Ullr instincts kicked in.  He caught up with his quarry just as Anders reached the living room, and pounced, throwing himself forward and knocking Anders bodily to the ground with Mike’s arms around his stomach.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Both men looked up, startled, as Val emerged from the kitchen, eyes wide.

“Hi, Val,” said Anders tightly, offering a smile that was really more of a wince as Mike tightened his hold.

“Hi, Love,” Mike said breathlessly, standing and pulling Anders up with him.

“Mike?  What the hell is going on?” Val repeated when no explanation was offered.

“It’s nothing, you know, just…Anders,” Mike smiled grimly, tightening his hold on his brother’s arm and pulling him back as Anders attempted to edge away.  “It’s nothing, really, brother stuff.”

“Uh huh…,” said Val slowly, eyeing Anders disdainfully.

“Well, this has been fun, guys,” Anders attempted brightly, pulling at Mike’s hand on his bicep before being unceremoniously shoved back along the corridor.

“Don’t even think about it,” Mike warned, glaring and pointing him back towards the spare bedroom.

Anders deflated, finally seeming to accept defeat.  “Mike…,” he began quietly, “Come on, not with Val here.”

Eyeing him sternly, Mike sighed before turning back to his wife.  “Love, could you pop out for a couple of hours?  I need to have a bit of a _chat_ with Anders,” he asked calmly, ignoring Anders’ desperately whispered “ _HOURS?”_

Val hesitated, unused to seeing Anders so cowed in the face of Mike’s orders.  “Erm, yeah, sure.  Okay,” she agreed reluctantly, looking nervously between the two of them before moving to grab her purse and car keys. 

With a stern, “Stay there” to his brother, Mike followed her to the door. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked, frowning as she reached the door.

“It’s fine,” Mike assured her quickly, “It’s nothing…just, we need a bit of privacy.  We need to discuss some family stuff.”  Seeing the ill-concealed flash of hurt on her face, he hastened to add, “Hey, why don’t you go and see how Rob’s doing today?”

“Yeah…okay,” she agreed reluctantly, pressing her cheek against his briefly.

From along the corridor, there came a bright “Bye, Val!”

Mike smiled grimly as Val rolled her eyes. 

“Just…He’s not gonna be here when I come home, right?  I’m glad you’re talking again but…Mike, does he have to come round here?” she implored uncomfortably.

“He’ll be gone,” Mike assured her, ushering her out of the door and waving her off.  Taking a deep breath, he turned to re-join his brother who had surprisingly wandered back up the corridor to lean casually against the bedroom door.

“That wasn’t very nice,” Anders informed him, the barest flicker of hurt briefly crossing his face.

“Yeah, well…she doesn’t like you,” Mike replied honestly as Anders shrugged.

“So…you’re seriously doing this, huh?”

Mike held his gaze. “You want to piss about with me, fine,” he said eventually, “But you leave Axl out of it.  He’s not your plaything.”

For a moment, Anders looked affronted.  “I wasn’t _playing_ with him, Mike, I – ”

“Yes,” Mike said firmly, pushing him back into the bedroom, “You were.”

They stared at each other for a minute, unused to being around each other _after_ an argument.  Now that they had yelled at each other for a while, the usual tension had all but gone, leaving only unfamiliar awkwardness in its wake.

“So…” Anders began, biting the inside of his mouth in a manner that reminded Mike of Ty.

“Take off your pants,” he said quietly, fully expecting the protest that followed.

“Oh don’t start that again!”

“Anders,” Mike murmured patiently, finally seeing the resignation to his fate in his brother that he had been waiting for.

“Can’t you just _punch_ me?”  Anders muttered mutinously, though his hands had already fallen to undo his belt.

“No,” Mike said quietly, taking a seat on the bed.

Glancing up, Anders’ eyes widened.  “You’re not serious?  Over your – Mike, I’m not your kid brother anymore!”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a grown man!” Anders protested, undoing his slacks and scowling as Mike made a dubious face. “You’re not that much taller than me.”

“No, but I’m still bigger than you.”

Anders gave a put upon sigh as he came to stand by Mike’s knee.

“What are you waiting for, _kiddo_? Drop ‘em.”

Lip curling with distaste at the nickname, Anders did so before awkwardly laying himself across his brother’s knees.  “Miiike,” he not-quite-whined as Mike’s arm came down to circle his waist, “You don’t need to hold me down.”

“I’m not holding you down, Anders” Mike assured quietly, though he did loosen his grip ever so slightly.  “Okay, you ready?”

“Does it mat – Ah! Jesus, Mike!”  Anders exclaimed, craning his neck around to stare incredulously at his brother.

“You do this for _fun_ ,” Mike reminded him unsympathetically, smacking down again, “But _this_ is not for fun, Anders.  I’ve got to make an impression, right?”  All the same, he paused for a moment to let Anders get used to that idea before he began spanking again.  Nevertheless, he had barely reached a dozen before Anders’ hand was thrown back to cover himself.  “Oh for – Anders!  Don’t be such a pussy!”

Anders did not reply but the hand in front of Mike flexed a couple of times before eventually being retracted slowly.  Tightening his hold again – so much for not needing to be held down – Mike continued, laying smack after smack onto the silk-clad flesh before him.  Anders meanwhile managed to stop fussing for a while and endeavoured to ‘man up’ as he had been ordered earlier but the truth was, it s _tung_.  If Mike was worried Anders’ ‘play’ would interfere with the effectiveness of this particular punishment then he was wrong!  Anders breify toyed with the idea of closing his eyes and envisaging Mike as the hot vodka chick Dawn had _failed_ to get the number of but that idea was discarded – the last thing he needed right now was to get a hard-on whilst lying over his big brother’s knee.

“You didn’t lock the door again.  Wh-what if Olaf walks in?” he asked eventually, his breathing beginning to come in short gasps.

“He’s not going to walk in,” Mike assured resolutely, not missing a beat.

Anders groaned, stamping one leg a bit. “Mike, come on!  I get it – that’s enough.”  When Mike’s only response was to increase his strength a little, Anders couldn’t help but twist around a bit – anything to avoid the next smack!  “Look, Mike, can – can we talk?”

“ _You_ can.”

Anders sighed, squeezing and twisting the bedspread under his hands.  “I’m sorry,” he began, though his tone was still decidedly defiant, “I get it.  No more… _pimping out_ Axl.”

“Good.”

“You’re…you’re supposed to _stop_.”

Mike huffed a laugh above him, temper flaring, Anders drew his elbow forward, ready to drive back into his brother’s stomach but –

“Don’t. You. Dare.”  Mike did stop then, hand raised as he glared at the back of his brother’s head.  Anders went very still before reluctantly relaxing his arm again only to have it grabbed up and held behind him.

“Ah! Mike!  That hurts!”

Mike scoffed.  When he began spanking again, Anders renewed struggles, though stronger than before, were significantly hampered by having both arms secured behind him.  It was humiliating, Anders couldn’t bear to think of how he must look; a man of his age – a god no less – bent across his big brother’s lap getting his bottom smacked like a naughty little boy.  If Axl or _anybody_ ever found out about this, he was moving to Oz, maybe even America.  And it _burned_!  He’d been beaten black and blue in fights before – Mike had knocked him into next week after he and Val had…– but this was _horrible_!  Worst of all, he was beginning to feel the telltale tightening in his throat of impending tears – Christ! When was the last time he had actually cried?

“UNCLE!” he yelled suddenly, unable to help himself.  To his shock, Mike actually stopped.

“What?”

“I’m…I’m calling uncle?” Anders said hopefully, willing his eyes to stop burning so that he might escape with a shred of dignity.  Maybe he was begging his brother to stop spanking him because it _hurt_ but that didn’t mean he had to cry about it.

“You can’t call uncle, Anders,” Mike informed him calmly, actually sounding amused.

To his shame, Anders felt real tears sting his eyes then at the disappointment and he struggled to keep his voice steady as he huffed, “Why not?  There’s always a safe word, there has to be.”

For a moment, Mike said nothing.  If anything, lying there with nothing happening and nobody speaking was almost worse than the thing itself.  Suddenly however, Mike tugged him closer to his own body, pressing down slightly harder on his arms and – what had he really expected from a _Winter_ god? – started back up as though he had never stopped.

“You can’t call uncle,” he repeated firmly, “And there is no safe word, Anders, because you’re not in control.  I am.”

  “You don’t have to keep going, Mike, I get it,” Anders repeated softly, allowing Bragi’s voice to take over as he spoke, “I understand, you can – ah! – you can stop.”

For the second time in as many minutes, Mike did so.  Anders blinked, heart beating hard in his chest.  It had actually worked?

“Anders,” came Mike’s ever so calm voice from above him, “Did you just try to use your powers on me?”

“Erm…”

Suddenly, Mike was pushing him up slightly and there was a cool hand at the waistband of his boxers.

“No!” Anders yelped immediately struggling to free his arms and stop the descent, “Mike, don’t!  I’m sorry, okay?  I was desperate!”

Ignoring him, Mike yanked the underwear down to reveal surprisingly pink cheeks and upper thighs, much to Anders’ mortification.

“Mike!” Anders cried, lowering his head to the duvet and wiping his face against it, “You promised!”

“You want to talk your way out of this?” Mike asked sternly, forcing himself to ignore the shocked betrayal he had heard in his brother’s voice.  Anders nodded as Mike swatted hard against the now bare skin, and he gave into his first soft sob into the duvet.  Even with their relationship as it was, Mike was forced to steel himself against it.  “Then you do it as Anders, not Bragi.”

“It’s the same fucking person!”

“No,” Mike said firmly, “It’s not.”

Thinking on that for a moment, Anders was able to gulp down several sobs until finally, he broke.  Going limp across his brother’s knee, he could not stop the sobs escaping him because he was tired and yes, until this whole Sonja business, Axl did seem to have been permanently scarred by the Karla incident and, he could admit (to himself anyway) that he had been worried and because _it hurt!_ Mike did this to Axl?!  No wonder the poor kid was so happy to be out and living on his own!  Jesus, he’d forgotten how much this could hurt!  And suddenly, it stopped.  Unbidden, more tears sprang to his eyes at the sheer relief even if Mike was pretty much guaranteed to start again soon.  But then, wonder of wonders, Mike was replacing his boxers over his aching backside and releasing Anders’ hands and –

“Hey?” came Mike’s voice from above him, “Anders?”

“Tell me I’m being a pussy and I’m gonna break your nose,” he managed to say in a rush, when he had at least a modicum of control over his emotions.

“I wasn’t going to,” Mike said quietly, “I’m done.  You okay?”

Anders snorted wetly into the damp bedspread.

“Okay, stupid question,” Mike quipped in a _surprising_ show of insight.  “Are you…”

“I’m fine,” Anders muttered, experimentally pulling his arms forwards.  “Can…can I get up now?”

Over his head, he could hear Mike sniff a smile.  “In a bit,” he replied, hesitantly moving one hand to just place in the space between Anders’ shoulder blades and leaving it there, not rubbing, just…there.

Several minutes passed, in which Mike’s hand occasionally strayed to grip the back of Anders’ neck, once even venturing higher to _caress_ the damp blonde curls.  And Anders pretended not to notice because since he had been ‘back in the clan’ so to speak, every time he managed to catch Mike being nice or even _civil_ to him he somehow couldn’t stop himself from saying or doing something to screw it up.  Finally, when Anders was mostly sniffing and his eyes had almost completely dried, Mike patted his stomach.

“Up.”

Staggering slightly as he stood, Anders quickly redid his pants and belt, gazing at the floor and trying to recall the last time he had felt this _raw_ in every sense of the word.

“I’m not saying…don’t go out,” Mike said quietly, also unable to look his brother in the eye.  “He’s twenty-one, we’d be fucking terrible brothers if _one of us_ didn’t take him out on the town.  Just don’t… _throw_ girls at him, don’t Bragi them into it.  Just…let him figure out who he is first, yeah?  _Without_ Odin.”

“You sound like a pissing self-help book,” Anders said, scrubbing one hand across his face.

“Anders…”

“Yeah, all right, you made your point,” Anders snapped, continuing more reluctantly, “I’m…sorry.  Not that I got him laid, just…I really _didn’t_ know that was going to happen with Karla.”

“I know, none of us did,” Mike conceded, watching him from the corner of his eye.

“Hey, did you know he was still a virgin until that?”  Anders said, suddenly brightening.

Unable to help himself, Mike smirked.  “Yeah,” he said, refusing now to be riled by his brother’s nonchalance, “I sort of assumed.”

Anders looked momentarily annoyed at Mike’s refusal to be drawn in but confided, “I’m still trying to decide whether it counted or not.”

Mike made a so-so gesture with his hand, “Questionable,” he said, grinning.  Moving forwards, he began removing the damp cover from the duvet, “Give me a hand with this will you?” he asked over his shoulder.

“Naff off,” Anders said immediately.  “You know what’s not fair?”

“What?” Mike replied slowly, shaking his head.

“My powers don’t work on you, right?  But you get to use yours on us whenever you like.”

“That because I use my powers for good, not evil,” Mike informed him bluntly.  Anders rolled his eyes but for once did not comment any further.

“Well,” Anders began, suddenly self-conscious again as he followed Mike along the corridor to the washing machine.  “I guess I’ll be off.  Wouldn’t want Val to come back and get stressed.”

“Don’t talk about my wife, Anders,” Mike snapped immediately, more out of habit than genuine anger, all the same, he could feel the familiar resentment descending between them once more. 

“No, actually, I meant it,” Anders said quietly.  At the open surprise that Mike knew must be showing on his face, Anders laughed harshly.  “Oh fuck you, you sanctimonious bastard.”

They stared at each other for a moment, the void between them stretching out again as it always did.  From outside, they could hear a car pull up in the drive.

“Well, this has been fun,” Anders said suddenly, breaking the silence and heading for the door.  “Ta, Mike – ooh, tell Val to give my love to Coma Rob, yeah?”

Mike rolled his eyes, already struggling to keep his temper with his younger brother.

“Just go, Anders,” he sighed.

Anders did so, barely looking at Val as he passed her and Olaf in the front garden on his way to the car.  Inside, Mike passed a hand over his face, feeling the familiar knot in his stomach that always followed his encounters with Anders.  It was going to be a long life if they ever did find Frigg.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Would love to hear ANY thoughts, what you liked, what you didn't like, whether the whole thing was just awful - seriously, anything!


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